What becomes of the broken hearted

I’ve often wondered the best way to get over a broken heart. Ultimately, due to the very nature of human behaviour, there is no “one size fits all”. Sorry if that’s not what you wanted to hear, but I can’t lie to you.

Whether the heart break is due to loss and grief, a relationship breakdown, or even unrequited love from afar – they all hurt and the pain is very real to each of us in that moment and that place. Someone who says “You don’t know what it’s like because you’ve never had a long term relationship” frankly needs a slap.┬áNo-one’s loss or heart break is any worse or any harder than anyone else’s. We can’t possibly compare as we can’t feel what the other person is feeling. The important thing is to be sympathetic and empathetic where possible.

Heart break is a form of grief, and in turn, grief causes heart break. Grief is itself a nasty thing, which can turn your head upside down and cause you to do things you never thought possible.

I’m no therapist, but the best way to come through grief is to do what you feel you need to do in the moment – as long as you aren’t hurting yourself or anyone else. Cry if you need to cry. Shout if you need to shout. Sleep if you need to sleep. Focus on getting your mind and body back to where they need to be.

It might seem like a fruitless task but try and keep a diary. In that moment it will hurt writing down your feelings and emotions, but once the clouds start to pass and you are feeling better, you can look back on how you were feeling and see how far you have come. It can be a cathartic experience, spurring you to carry on as you reflect on your progress.

One day you will look back on this time and you may feel very differently, but the important thing is that you will look back on it – because you will get through it, no matter how hard it seems right now.

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